Isolation

Children who are witnesses of domestic abuse often feel isolated. They can't just go to people and tell whats going on at home. You can't go to your friends and say my mother is getting her ass kicked on a daily basis. If you could say that what could your friends do about it. They can't comfort you. They don't have that shit going on in their home, and if they do have it going on they sure as hell are not going to share that shame with you.
Because of my moms drug use one of my neighbors would not let her kids play with me. All the other little girls on the block would get invited to Tea Party's and Birthday party's etc. Can you imagine the self doubt that came from being so tainted that this woman's children couldn't even speak to me. I spent a lot of years not letting anyone know who I really was because I felt like I wasn't good enough.

This is funny in light of the fact that my family was very well off at one time. My mother was a debutante featured several times in the local African American newspaper The Michigan Chronicle. My grandfather was a Deacon in the church, and also a Mason. He and my grandmother were regularly featured in the Chronicle with their society friends. My great grandfather was Pastor in his own church. My family was well known especially in our neighborhood where my mother was a local beauty. I still have old guys approach me saying "your Margaret's daughter. Your mother was one of the finest women on 8 mile".

It is ironic that one of that woman's children ended up addicted to crack cocaine even though she was protected being contaminated by me.