My mothers path to being abused was preceded by several years of drug abuse. There were several times by the age of 11 that I'd had to call for an ambulance because my mom overdosed on heroin. The adults in my life used to party a lot. I don't know why, but it seemed that my mom was always the one to go over the edge. After the first time they yelled to me to call 911 I started sleeping with the telephone to be ready if it happened again. I think I was 9.
The effects on children of abuse victims are devastating. Low self esteem, and self worth. The inability to trust. I still have severe anxiety attacks. When I was growing up I was too embarrassed to bring friends home, and to this day have panic attacks when people come to visit.
It wasn't all bad for me and by brother. Momma told us everyday that she loved us. I think she knew she wouldn't always be there for us.
Children internalize what they witness while the abuse is going on. Sometimes they blame themselves. They learn to take on the role of being caregivers to younger siblings, and taking care of mom when she's been hurt.
I want to make sure that these children are not forgotten. We blend into society and try to forget. We hope that nobody sees the cracks in the veneer. I just want to acknowledge their pain, because it doesn't just go away.
I'd also like to note that women are not the only victims of domestic violence.
U go young lady. Proud 2 c U speaking out. This is most deftly is good for U and long overdue. Keep it up and Shedric Loves U all.
ReplyDeleteOh, Yo! Keep digging. You are doing great.
ReplyDeleteIt was not your fault!
I'm so glad I am now following your blog. The part about not having visitors and the anxiety attached even to this day is me! I didn't realize the liberation hearing someone else is going through the same feelings and at the same time trying to live a "normal" life and be "normal."
ReplyDelete